MotY award lost

It all started at the crack of dawn.  I headed down into my office to spend some quality time with God. I grabbed my coffee, added enough junk to make it hardly taste like coffee and sat down at my desk.   And as often happens {don’t you dare judge the rest of this sentence}, that darn laptop jumped out at me & sat itself right down on top of my Bible & whispered, “just a quick check of email never hurt anyone.”  And without hardly any persuasion {just call me Eve} I logged in.  ‘Just for a minute though, then I’ll get right back into quality time with the Word.’


There in my inbox sat 31 {I kid you not here friends, 31!} emails from our fast internet provider.  This is never, never, never, ever good!

Back up with me a moment…We live out of town.  Not significantly out of town, like miles and miles away, but we are out of town on some acreage.  And while acreage is great {read hardly any neighbors looking in my windows &sending children over to eat my food} internet is bad.  Very bad.  The only option we had was one little notch up from dial up.  True.  And with teen and tweens, one notch up from dial up is a sad state to live in.  {First world troubles, absolutely}

A few months back my hubs discovered another option for us.  Since I have no vocabulary to tell you exactly what the heck this option is, I will just say that there is a cool cylinder that is now attached to the outside of our home & a new router in the utility room & internet that is lightening speed fast {for those of us with the password, aka me & the hubs}.  No kids allowed! We tell the kids that our new internet for adults only results in their internet speed being faster too because the hubs & I are not stealing all their broadband & for now, they believe us.  And it might be true, so I’m certain I’m not lying about anything. {stop your judging!}  The only catch to this glorious internet option is the usage restriction.  We get a certain amount of gigs per month for one low {hardly!} price.  Then if we go over our amount they tack on the usage fees at speeds comparable to their internet speeds.  But we never have we gone over our allotment.  Until…

Back to the 31 emails sitting in my inbox.  Never you mind that I should have been talking with Jesus.  I was staring at 31 separate “you have gone over your usage” & “you have gone over the extra 1 Gig allocation” !!  Thirty one of them.  Thirty one!!!  At $10 per gig…I was ready to throw up.

Certain the information had to be in error, I got everyone ready and off to their days at school, figuring a quick call to the provider would resolve everything.

Hardly.  After hours with their support folks, the conclusion was, as a customer I am responsible for all usage & I should be monitoring it to ensure that unwanted overages do not occur.  It was also strongly suggested that it may be a wayward teen in the house who has circumvented the password to access faster speeds for gaming & the like.  Hmmmmmm, I do have a teen who enjoys gaming & complains quite regularly about the internet speed with which he connects… could it be?

And…this is where I clearly lose the nomination for Mother of the Year.

At the suggestion of a complete stranger on the other end of the phone line, I run with one conclusion in mind: my sweet ginger boy is responsible for the $350 overage on our internet.  Although he adamantly denies the allegations against him {via text} the next hours {honestly, the entire day} was filled with my attempts to gain enough evidence to put him away for a very long, long time!

This, of course, required a message to my big brother & self-proclaimed computer geek.  He navigated his completely uneducated-in-anything-tech sister through the ins & outs of it all.  I was looking into the “advanced settings” in our router – which is normally only reserved for Mountain Dew drinking men at odd hours of the night.  But I was there, not comprehending anything before me on the screen, but certain it held the keys I needed.  My big bro was patient with every stupid question {and they were ALL stupid questions}.  I sent him so many pictures of my computer screen, it was as if he wasn’t 1800 miles away but sitting right there in my kitchen with me!  He wasn’t as convinced as I that my sweet ginger boy was guilty, but he played along nicely with his clearly insane little sister.

When my sweet ginger boy arrived home from a long day at high school, he was quickly put under my interrogation light & drilled with questions.  Although I knew nothing about the information on the screen in front of me, I pretended I knew & mentioned that I was working with his Uncle to get to the bottom of it all.  He knew his Uncle knew stuff & this might be enough to crack him open.  But he was stone-faced, not willing to budge on his stand that he was an innocent man-child.  I saw this was going to be tough.  He was determined to not admit to anything.  But, I could see his cracks, I knew his lies.  This momma would win in the end. {insert evil, crazy laugh}

Another quick screen shot to my big brother was all it would take.  He requested a picture of a specific advanced setting screen & I delivered promptly, knowing this would be the end.  And it was.  Unfortunately {or fortunately depending on whether you’re cheering for the crazy momma or the sweet ginger hair boy} it was not the answer I had been certain of, the one that would prove my sweet ginger boy was a liar & and an internet stealing thief!  Instead it proved that my husband had made a critical error in the Apple TV settings over the weekend.  Silence.

‘And the nomination goes to anyone except the crazy lady trying to put her son away for crimes he never committed.’

I’ll avoid getting all techie on you, mostly because I haven’t a clue what happened or how or even how my big brother knew, but it was all traced to that little black Apple tv box in the cabinet under the TV.  Which my son had absolutely nothing to do with.

I didn’t take long for me to tuck my tail between  my legs & run over to give my sweet ginger haired boy a big hug and tell him I was sorry that I was accusing him of lying and stealing and being an awful child.  He was gracious and said he knew all along that Uncle J would figure it all out because Uncle J is way smarter than I am with computer things & I’d have to eat my words.  Good kid, I have there, my sweet ginger boy. Now to mortgage the house so we can pay the internet bill this month.  Just kidding.  But seriously painful throwing cash away.  Painful.

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