The New Normal

It’s been quite a while since I’ve been here.  I was taking a break for summer & then just when I was about to get started writing here again, the world got twisted and turned wrong-way-round.

Cancer.

Like a train barreling down the tracks at full speed slamming directly into my heart. The words of my 16 year old son’s oncologist {the fact that my son even has an oncologist} stopped my heart, my world, my everything.  And then in the same millisecond it all began to chaotically race in a tumbling out-of-control fashion; swirling and twisting around me, my mind failing to be able to hold together my very being.

Then came the information.  All the information.  Treatment.  Medications.  Side effects.  Blood counts.  Procedures.  I was suddenly being asked to drink from a fire hydrant flowing full force at my face.  “Take it all in!  Quickly!”

Blurry.  Messy.  Fear.  Tears.  Questions.  What-if’s.  Who knows?  All clamoring for my attention, my thoughts, my time, my now.  And in the very next millisecond, decisions are made, papers are signed, treatment begins.  Without time to process, think, ponder, decide.  Hit by a train, flooded with information – GO!

Cancer.

My sweet ginger haired boy was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma on September 21.  After several weeks of misdiagnosis and “he’s a tough case”, lymphoma was confirmed by lymphoid biopsy and bone marrow biopsy.  Stage 4 Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma – ALCL.

Port went in.  PET scan for baseline done.  Chemo began.

He’s finished one full round of chemo out of a total of six.  Five to go {those are some stellar math skills!}  Five days of chemo on a 22 day cycle.  But as I’ve quickly learned, NOTHING is schedule-able when it comes to Cancer.  Nothing.  Everything that I enjoy being so well thought out and printed neatly on a calendar weeks and weeks in advance is up for complete & total rearrangement at any moment thanks to Cancer.  Crazy, chaotic, unknown is where I currently reside {hopefully temporarily}.  Routine & schedule {two of my favorite friends} have had to sit down and be quiet.  At least for a while.

If you’re interested, we have a Caring Bridge site for Alex.  It’ll be the story of Alex and his cancer treatment.  Updates, hard stuff & {hopefully} plenty of celebratory posts!  Feel free to pop over there.

Here, however, is where I plan to tackle cancer from a mama’s heart.  It’s his cancer story, but it’s “my boy with cancer” story.  Feel free to follow along here.

He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power. – Isaiah 40:29

9 thoughts on “The New Normal

  1. Oh my, I don’t know how I got on your mailing list, but what an awesome talent you have conveying the feelings that go with CANCER. Today’s post is great, and I will certainly pray for your beautiful child and the rest of your family, as this is a family disease, especially with other children in the house. I went back and read your last post for the history, and drinking from a fire hose is so accurate. Lymphoma is very curable, even the “tough ones”, but we won’t leave anything to chance and pray this child well!!! Love and prayers to the entire family.

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