She’s Got Issues

FullSizeRender 77The title seemed like it would absolutely fit me.  Issues.  I’ve got them.  Definitely.  In particular Nicole Unice talks about 5 issues that I would just bet to guess that most women deal with to some degree.  Control. Insecurity. Comparison. Fear. Unforgiveness.  Check, check, check, check & yes, check.  Issues.  Yep.

I’m currently two chapters in.  Nicole is setting up the tone for the entire book.  Because, let’s get real here, this could be depressing & heavy & guilt-ridden and shamed-filled.  It could be yet another reminder of all the things that are wrong in the way I’m doing this life.  All the places where I’m not measuring up.  All the nastiness that sits inside me that needs a thorough scrubbing & reorganizing.  Ugh!  And that all sounds less than delightful.  But that is not her take on these issues. Thank Goodness.

In chapter 2, Nicole talks about a wordless book.  I’ve never heard of such a thing.  I have heard of the salvation bracelet, which is about the same thing.  One summer in junior high, our youth group made a trazillion of these little bracelets with leather straps and colored plastic beads.  Black, red, white,blue, green & yellow.  Sin, Sacrifice, Redemption, Baptism, Growth, Heaven.  We were going to save the world with our bracelets.  We were.

Nicole talks in chapter 2 about the green.  Growth.  Growing day by day with Jesus.  We skip that step sometimes.  I do.  I can go straight from cleansing & redemption & baptism to shiny streets of gold.  Just take me out of here, Jesus.  Take me to paradise. {which reminds me of a Guns & Roses song…but…nevermind}  Growth.  It’s that time while we’re still sitting here on the earth when Jesus is changing us, molding us, teaching us.  He’s making our hearts more like His so that our actions and words and attitudes will be more like his.  He’s changing us to be more like him.  He is changing us.

And that got me thinking…

I have been in the adventure of straightening my teeth for 7 months now.  I skipped the braces-right-of-passage in adolescence & decided that instead 40 seemed like a great time to awkwardly shift my teeth into a straighter, more uniform arrangement.  I chose Invisalign for the job.  Molds were made & a computer came up with the exact motions that my teeth needed to make for success.  Then 31 {yes, 31!} different plastic trays were made that would ever-so-slowly, yet not-very-gently move my teeth into the straight smile I desired.  Every two weeks I put in a fresh set of the trays and every two weeks my teeth shift a little bit.  After 7 months {halfway there!} my teeth have definitely been moved, but there is still a lot of shifting left to do for them to be aligned properly.

I wish that I could just get in there and straighten them all in an instant.  Just magic wand it and make them perfectly straight.  I would love to be able to just push on them with all my strength & arrange them to fit in an orderly fashion.  Instantly.  But that won’t work {perhaps I’ve tried that, perhaps not.}  Instead, the only way that this will work well is if I allow those plastic trays to do their job at a snails pace.  They do all the work.  They have the strength to move my stubborn, don’t-want-to-move teeth.  My responsibility is to simply make sure I wear them.  They will do the rest.

I’ve decided to approach this book and, more importantly, my issues with this same strategy.  I don’t want this to just be another book that generates a to-do-list for changing me.  A book that generates enough guilt & shame in me that I try to change in order to ease those feelings.  I don’t want to read this book and be determined to pull myself up by my bootstraps and make myself better of my own power and might.  Because, he’s the deal, I can’t.  You can’t.  Just like I can’t rearrange my teeth simply using my own strength, I can’t change my heart out of my own power either.  Heavens knows I’ve tried.

I’m determined to use the green bead!  To grow.  Maybe slowly.  Maybe not always so gently.  But by using his strength and power and might.  Not mine.  My responsibility?  Just like my teeth.  For the Invisalign trays to work, I have to wear them.  For the Spirit to grow me I must ‘wear’ it.  In the Word, listening, talking to God, asking for help.  I’ll fill up with Him and He’ll take care of the outward reflection of what’s going on between us.

“God isn’t working in our issues to make us need him less.  He’s interested in moving through our issues so we can understand just how desperate we are for a constant inflow of his love into our hearts.  This isn’t about perfection, about being better, it’s about being changed-reborn, remade every single day into the likeness of Christ.” – Nicole Unice

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *