Sweet Mama, You’re Doing Great!

sweet mama

Hey there sweet mama.

I saw you today.  From afar.  You were in the cereal aisle.  You had your hands full, so don’t feel bad that you didn’t notice me watching.  It’s hard to focus on anything when you have one child attempting a cart escape to gather as many sugar-laden boxes of artificially colored wonder as little hands can carry while another insists on yelling about Pop-Tarts and potties while poking the baby in the eyes causing her to scream.  Honestly, it was hard not to watch.  But as I say that, it sounds a bit creepy.  I wasn’t watching-watching you in a stalker kind of way.  Or in a “i’d like to kidnap those kids” way {let’s be honest, there was a lot of noise to consider that}.  I was just observing your life’s chaos with a warm-fuzzy of remembrance.  Because you see, sweet mama, I was once you.

I too once stood in the cereal aisle with 3 littles under 5.  Trying to wrangle them in.  Keep them contained.  Not lose my mind.  I was exhausted and irritated.  I wondered if I was doing this right.  I agonized about each parenting decision.  I worried I was messing them all up forever.  Even from afar I could see in your very tired & annoyed eyes the tinge of motherhood anxiety.  So let me be the first to tell you “You’re Doing An Amazing Job!”

I realize that you don’t believe me.  You see the FaceBook posts and Instagram photos and the Tweets and the Pinterest Boards that scream at you “You’re not doing enough!” and “You could do more!”  But  believing me.  You are doing a perfectly wonderful & shut up job!!  There is absolutely nothing easy about motherhood in these early years.  Or in any years, I’m learning.  Oh, yes, there are many blessings & wonderful moments, hugs and kisses and snuggles and firsts.  But easy?  No.  It’s sleepless nights and feeding schedules and separation anxiety and temper tantrums and general loudness and snotty noses and ear infections and potty training and pacifier removal and sibling squabbling and smelly, moldy sippy cups rolling out from under the seats in your mini van {you’re rocking the MV by the way!}.  And then throw in there the rest of your life – your hubby and work and friends and moving and bills and commitments.  Oh,  and don’t forget not to lose you.  This is all hard! Very hard!  But you’re doing great!

The thing is, no one really knows what they’re doing.  No one! Some will pretend they do or, maybe even more dangerously, will think they do. You’ll be tempted to compare and measure up.  But listen to me, sweet mama, we are all flying by the seat of our pants here on a wish and a prayer that we don’t totally screw up this enormous responsibility called motherhood. In the end we’re all just hoping that at our funerals the kids proclaim us to have been a “good mom”.

Well, mama friend {can I call you that now?} I’m here to tell you before your funeral, you are a good mom.  A great mom in fact.  You see, contrary to what you might have thought, great moms aren’t built on what they dress their littles in.  It’s not determined by where your littles sleep or how well their sleep routine is set.  It has nothing to do with the laundry detergent you buy or the cleaning products you use.  Being a good mom isn’t about organic, non-GMO foods filling your pantry or home cooked meals three times a day.  Motherhood success is not built on vacations or family game nights or birthday parties or Instagram-worthy, FixerUpper houses or playdates or how well you avoid the drive-thru.  You are not a great mom because your life is put together neatly and the children fit in like a perfectly photoshopped portrait.  You are a great mom because you are the mom that God chose to raise those little, loud, always-moving, constantly-touching, often messy, amazing, perfectly-created for Him babies of yours.  Whether they grew in your womb or someone else’s, you were handpicked to be their mom.  They only get one.  And God picked you because He knew the fit would be perfect.  So if you’re seeking Him & following His Word, you are doing the job He asked you to do very well.  Everything else is a decision.  Everything else is simply how you & your family prioritize life.  And priorities vary as much as there are families.  No one way is right and no one way is wrong.  And what you chose isn’t going to make or break you as a “good mom”.  Because, my friend, you are already a good mom.

Are you going to mess this motherhood thing up?  Heck yes!!  If you’ve decided successful motherhood is based on your perfection in mothering, you’d best lower that bar, mama, and do some rethinking.  You are going to make mistakes.  Little ones & huge ones.  After all, you’re human.  Remember?  No SuperMoms with super powers of perfection here.  Not one.  We are all human.  So take time to look to Him, the one who assigned you to these littles, ask Him to help, follow His guidance, get in His Word and use it.  Every mistake made, He can redeem.  Every single one.  And HE WILL!

And find some true, human mamas to CHEER YOU ON!  This world is full-to-the-brim with critiquers.  We are not in a competition here, sweet mama.  Motherhood is not some sport that someone will finish as a winner.  And someone will be a loser.  We are all on the same team!  So get with those who will cheer more than compete and be a cheerer for other mamas you know.  Encouragement and love win!  Every time.  Get to cheering & be cheered for.

I know, sweet mama friend, you didn’t ask for any of this.  You were just trying to get some food in that cart so you could get home and hope to high heaven that all three of those littles took a nap at the same exact time.  But I couldn’t help but remind you that you are AWESOME!  Those kids of yours, beautiful in their mismatched socks and tutu with cowgirl boots ways think the world of you!  You are doing such a great job.  A really great job.  Remember that.  And pass it along to another sweet mama you know.  CHEER ON!

 

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3 thoughts on “Sweet Mama, You’re Doing Great!

  1. This is a wonderful post! I was at the grocery store this morning and witnessed something similar. I saw a mom trying to shop with a special-needs toddler. He was all over the place and she was so patient and gentle with him. I was so tempted to let her know that her little boy was the cutest thing and that I thought she was doing a great job with him, but I thought that would be weird! All mothers everywhere need to see this post!

  2. You are AWESOME too Kim. God chose your little Weeds just for you. He loves you and knows with Him, you are doing a fantastic job!

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